[ PHALKUNZ'S BLOG ]: October 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

AUT Akoranga Dr Hostel At Night

12AM

4AM

Monday, October 24, 2005

Tow Away

Tow Away, originally uploaded by phalkunz.

Move your ass out of here Mr.Duckie or you will be towed.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I had planned with my roommate Waza about going to Hamilton for like 2 months ago but we never had a chance to do so because I was so damn busy with my study. But tonite, after having steamboat (dinner) someone who i can't recall mentioned about Hamilton on the way back home from the restaurant. I was like "ok". And then Waza made a u-turn to go back south heading Hamilton. We went there just for a ride, nothing particular. We were texting some mates telling them about the ride but they didn't believe because it was so spontaneous. We dropped by Hamilton city center for some photoz in order to have proof that we was there tonite but there was nothing there to say something about Hamilton then we had a ride around then we saw a street direction sign said "The University of Waikato". We decided to go there to see what uni was like. We didn't get access to all parts of the uni but yeah the parts that we saw were nice. It was like a small village. Waza and Becky kept complaining about AUT for not having things that Waikato Uni has. Well, I'm in AU hehehe :p nothing to complain about but yeah I quite like the uni's scenary. It looks so peaceful. In addition, we had some photos there and they can prove that we were in Hamilton muahahhaha.
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Saturday, October 22, 2005

White Roses

white_roses.JPG, originally uploaded by phalkunz.

I made these 2 roses out of tissue.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Unpredictable

I have been lying on my bed thinking of what have happened so far
And there is always a picture of you flicking between my every thought
It is maybe the reason why I could not be losing sleep
I am now asking myself questions again
Why am I thinking of you? Was it real you that I met?
Or is it real you who I am waiting for right now?
Today is just another day I feel down and lonely
Which yesterday I was very content because you made me so.

You pulled me up from you a dark side of life
You brought the sun to my cloudy day
You showed what is life supposed to be
I started to smile again
I thought you had changed my life forever since that day

But then today everything changed again
It's all upside down, in a way that I could not believe it
You made me believe that everything you gave was true
You gave me hope but now you took it all away
And now you show me that it was just a dream, it was so unreal
And I have to accept the fact that I am brought to where I was ignored
to where I was left alone, to where I was abandoned.
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Sunday, October 16, 2005

Nightmare

I just repost this writing of mine which was posted on my previous blog. It was written on 11/Nov/2002.

Last night, and like the other nights, I dreamt about my first girl of my life.
She came up with a beautiful innocent smile. She liked, cared about, and loved me. We hanged out and shared everything together. She talked to me in nice and sweet voice. I really remember her smile, her beautiful smile. This was driving me insane. I wanted to be close to her and hoped nothing was going to break us apart. This made me think that she was the one for me the one that I would spend the rest of my life with. I loved her with every beat of my heart. But who knows what tomorrow will bring?

We went through the good and the bad times together. Until one day…

Sadly, the time had come. She just disappeared. I was looking for her everywhere. I was so worried. Day without her seemed like year. The next day, a friend of her told me they found her. I was so excited to see the love of my life again. I thought I would not let her go away even in a shot of time.

Even more sadly, she turned up to be a very different kind of girl. She didn’t even talk to me but to other friends she was just like before. I wondered why? Did I do anything wrong? No, both in my real life and in my first minutes sweet dream and last minutes nightmare. Never that I could possibly hurt her physically or emotionally.

She went away from me without words. All my life was turned up side down. It was killing me. I am just a man I have a heart. It cut me deep inside and it hurt so bad.

That was my dream is all about. After I woke up I felt like there was nothing left for me in this world and I felt like crying. I hate that dream. I want to get rid of these feelings and the dream. I thought I got over it once already. But now, It keep haunting me over and over again. I have enough of this. Why doesn’t it leave me alone?

I want her no more in my memory. Only if I could program myself to delete that part of my memory I would but I couldn’t. Is it the feeling that will last in me forever? Everybody says “The first cut is the deepest.” And I have to admit it.

To Cinema

Friday, October 14, 2005

Waterfront

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Another Snapshot of My PB [photo]

Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Most Invaluable Present in My Life

I just opened my door [@5:00pm]. I found a box of something on the floor next to my door. It was wrapped up in an unattractive way, in a plastic bag and newspaper. I picked it up and there's a note says "Bong, thought you need cheering up... too bad, there are no subtitles - HAHA - :p ENJOY!!! [love heart] Lynny."

I knew there was definitely something special in there coz she told me she had a suprise for me. I was unwrapping it impatiently and finally there I saw the thing I wanted for my birthday [as i posted in my blog earlier] and omg I suddenly burst into tears. I tried to stop myself from crying but I couldn't help it (even now as I am writing this). How weak and sensitive am I? I knew she knew I was gonna cry that's why the present comes with face tissue as well. I never thought on earth that someone could give me such a thing that most people think it is so trivial yet very invaluable to me but this girl just did it. How sweet! In my heart, I wanna go and give her a hug but i just don't want her to see me crying. She just messaged me but I pretent that I had not seen it yet because I didn't want to come over now either.

I don't know what to say or thank. There's no word that can describe.
But just wanna say you have given me the love that I never had before.
Luv you alwayz sweetie *hugz*

Friday, October 07, 2005

Food Court [photo]

food court in Henderson Westfield mall

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Some Questions In My Head

Why does it hurt when it don't even touch me ?
Why do I wait for something when I know for sure that it's not gonna happen ?
Why do I hang on to something that don't even exist ?
Why does it end when there is no one to stop it ?
Why do I listen to this song when It makes me sad ?
Why do I think of you when I don't even know you ?
Why do I love you when I don't even know how to love myself ?
Why do I let myself fall when there is no one to catch me ?
Why do I feel the pain when you are cut ?
Why do I stay here when I know I don't belong here ?
Why do I torture myself when I know it hurts ?
Why do I live when I don't know what I am living for ?
Why do I ask myself all these questions when I know i can't answer ?

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Tomorrow

I know I have found you, a love not a lust
You opened up my eyes to a whole new world
I started to realize that what I have had and come acrossed was the effect of desire
It was all like illusion, it comes and goes
And now there you are here
And what I wanna say won't come out of my mouth
Maybe tomorrow it is the right time for me to tell you
But...

Will you believe me if I say love you?
Will you accept me and let me in?
I know it sounds so ridiculous to you but it is so true
Does a month or a year help me to prove that this is real?
Or even longer than that?

People say that time can prove everything
It will prove what I am giving you now is from my heart
But what if I disappear forever by the end of today
Whether you will believe me or not
Whether you will accept me or not
It'll be all useless, it'll be all in vain
Everything will become just a memory
A memory of a horrendous mistake that we made.

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